What Is Executive Functioning? (A Parent's Guide)

Executive functioning is the set of mental skills your child uses to plan ahead, stay focused, remember instructions, juggle multiple tasks, and control impulses. Think of it as the brain’s air traffic control system. When these skills are underdeveloped — which is common and treatable — your child can be perfectly intelligent and still struggle to turn in homework, manage their time, or start a project without being told five times. Here’s what every parent should understand.

Why Should I Care About Executive Functioning?

Because executive functioning predicts academic success more reliably than IQ does. A landmark study published in Child Development found that executive function skills in kindergarten were a stronger predictor of academic achievement in first grade than either IQ or baseline reading and math skills [1]. That finding has been replicated across age groups: EF skills matter in elementary school, in middle school, in high school, and in college.

I care about this topic because I see the consequences every week. Many of the students I work with come to me for SAT prep or math tutoring, and within two sessions it becomes clear that the real issue is not the content — it is the systems around the content. They cannot plan a study schedule, they lose track of assignments, they sit down to work and get derailed within five minutes, they know the material but bomb the test because they did not manage their time. These are all executive functioning problems wearing academic costumes.

The good news: executive functioning skills are learnable. They are not fixed traits. Your child’s brain is still developing these circuits well into their mid-twenties, and with the right support, they can build habits and strategies that compensate for — and eventually strengthen — their weak spots.

What Are the Core Executive Functioning Skills?

Researchers break executive functioning into different numbers of sub-skills depending on the model. The most practical framework I have found for parents uses eight skills. Here is each one explained in plain English, with what it looks like when it is weak.

1. Working Memory

What it is: The ability to hold information in your mind while using it. Not just remembering — remembering while doing something else with what you remember.

Example: Your child is solving a multi-step math problem. They need to hold the result of step one in their head while they perform step two. Or they are reading a paragraph and need to remember the beginning of the sentence by the time they reach the end.

When it’s weak: Your child forgets what they were about to say mid-sentence. They go upstairs to get something and forget what it was. They can follow one-step directions but lose track when you give them three things to do. They reread the same paragraph multiple times and still cannot summarize it.

2. Task Initiation

What it is: The ability to begin a task without excessive procrastination, especially when the task is unpleasant, boring, or overwhelming.

Example: Your child knows they have a history essay due Thursday. It is Monday night. They need to sit down and start writing. Task initiation is what bridges the gap between “I should do this” and actually opening the laptop.

When it’s weak: This is the big one parents notice first. Your child sits at the kitchen table for 45 minutes “about to start” their homework. They sharpen pencils, get a snack, rearrange their desk, check their phone — anything except the actual work. They are not being defiant. They genuinely cannot figure out how to begin. I see this pattern often: a student who did fine in middle school — where the work was more structured and teachers provided more scaffolding — falls apart in high school because the work requires more self-starting.

3. Planning and Prioritization

What it is: The ability to create a roadmap to reach a goal, figure out what matters most, and sequence tasks in the right order.

Example: Your child has a science project due in two weeks, a math test on Friday, and a soccer game Wednesday. Planning means figuring out which to work on first and how to break the project into smaller steps so it does not all pile up on the last night.

When it’s weak: Everything is last-minute. Your child treats every assignment as equally urgent (or equally ignorable). They spend two hours color-coding their notes for a quiz worth 5% of their grade and zero hours studying for the midterm worth 30%. They do not break big projects into steps — they wait until the night before and try to do the whole thing in one sprint.

4. Organization

What it is: The ability to keep track of materials, information, and belongings in a structured way.

Example: Your child knows where their homework is, their backpack has a system, their notes are findable, and their digital files have names that make sense.

When it’s weak: The bottom of their backpack looks like a recycling bin. Papers are crumpled, loose, and mixed in with granola bar wrappers. They did the homework but cannot find it to turn in. Their Google Drive is a mess of “Untitled Document” files. They have three half-used notebooks for the same class. According to a study in the Journal of Attention Disorders, organizational difficulties are present in approximately 50-60% of children with ADHD, but they also affect 20-25% of students without an ADHD diagnosis [2].

5. Time Management

What it is: The ability to estimate how long tasks will take, allocate time accordingly, and stay aware of time passing.

Example: Your child knows that their math homework usually takes 30 minutes, their English reading takes 45 minutes, and they have soccer practice at 5. So they start homework at 3:30 and budget their time accordingly.

When it’s weak: Your child thinks every task will take “like ten minutes.” They start a project at 9 PM that realistically requires three hours and are shocked when it is midnight and they are not done. They lose track of time completely — they sat down to watch “one YouTube video” at 4 PM and suddenly it is dinnertime. This is not about caring or not caring. Research shows that people with weak time management EF skills literally perceive time differently — their internal clock is miscalibrated [3].

6. Emotional Control

What it is: The ability to manage your emotional responses to frustration, disappointment, and stress so they do not derail your behavior.

Example: Your child gets a bad grade on a quiz. Emotional control is what allows them to feel disappointed without throwing the paper away, shutting down for the rest of the day, or deciding they are “just bad at math.”

When it’s weak: Your child has meltdowns over minor setbacks. They cannot start homework without an argument. A single wrong answer on a worksheet triggers a 20-minute shutdown. They are either at 100% or 0% — there is no middle gear. Parents often describe it as “everything is the end of the world or nothing matters at all.”

7. Flexible Thinking

What it is: The ability to adapt when things do not go as planned, to consider alternative approaches, and to shift between tasks or ideas.

Example: Your child is working on a math problem one way and it is not working. Flexible thinking allows them to say “let me try a different approach” instead of doing the same wrong thing harder.

When it’s weak: Your child gets stuck in loops. They try the same approach to a problem ten times and get angry when it does not work. They cannot handle changes in routine — a substitute teacher, a rescheduled practice, an unexpected assignment. They struggle with open-ended assignments because there is no single “right” way to do them.

8. Self-Monitoring

What it is: The ability to step back and evaluate your own performance — to check your work, notice when you are off-track, and adjust.

Example: Your child finishes a math test with ten minutes left and uses that time to go back and check their answers. Or they notice midway through writing an essay that they have gone off-topic and course-correct.

When it’s weak: Your child finishes tests in half the allotted time and never checks their work. They turn in essays with obvious errors they would catch if they reread them. They do not notice that they have been staring at their phone for 20 minutes instead of studying. They cannot tell you how well they think they did on a test — their self-assessment is wildly inaccurate in both directions.

Is It Executive Functioning Issues or Is My Child Just Lazy?

This is the question that brings most parents to me, and I want to address it directly: what looks like laziness is almost always something else. Here is how to tell the difference.

Sign	EF Difficulty	Laziness / Low Motivation
Wants to do the work	Yes — often frustrated with themselves	No — genuinely does not care about the outcome
Performance is inconsistent	Yes — great on some days, terrible on others (depends on EF demand of the task)	Consistently low effort across all tasks
Responds to external structure	Yes — does much better when a parent or tutor sits with them	Not much change with or without structure
Gets upset about grades	Often — especially when they studied and still did poorly	Rarely — grades do not bother them
Can explain the material verbally	Yes — knows it but cannot get it on paper or organize it	Usually struggles with the content itself
Struggles more with long-term projects	Yes — short tasks are fine, multi-step tasks fall apart	Struggles equally with short and long tasks
Has tried strategies that helped temporarily	Yes — planners, apps, timers help for a while then stop working	Has not engaged with any strategies
Behavior is similar across settings	Yes — struggles at school, at home, in activities	Often fine in settings they enjoy

The critical distinction is this: a child with EF difficulties wants to do well and cannot figure out how. A child who is genuinely unmotivated does not want to do well. In two decades of tutoring, I have met very few students I would describe as genuinely lazy. I have met many with executive functioning gaps.

Dr. Russell Barkley, one of the leading researchers on ADHD and executive function, puts it this way: “ADHD is not a disorder of knowing what to do, but of doing what you know” [4]. That applies to EF difficulties broadly. Your child knows they should start their homework. They know they should use a planner. They know they should study for the test. The breakdown is in the doing, not the knowing.

What Does Executive Functioning Coaching Look Like?

EF coaching is not tutoring in the traditional sense. I am not teaching your child algebra or helping them write an essay (though sometimes we do that too). I am teaching them how to manage themselves as a student. Here is what a typical engagement looks like.

The First Session: Assessment

I start by figuring out which EF skills are strong and which are weak. This is not a formal psychological assessment (that is a neuropsychologist’s job). It is a practical conversation and observation:

How do they currently keep track of assignments?
What does their backpack/Google Drive look like right now?
Walk me through what happened the last time they had a big project. When did they start? What went wrong?
What have they tried that worked? What have they tried that did not work?
How do they feel when they sit down to do homework?

I also talk to parents separately. You see things your child does not see — patterns of avoidance, emotional triggers, routines that work and ones that do not.

Weekly Sessions: The Backward/Forward/Present Framework

Sessions are usually 45-60 minutes, once a week. I primarily work with college students on executive functioning, though I also work with some high schoolers. Every session follows a three-part framework that I do on a shared document with the student:

Backward: We start by reviewing. Did you do what you said you would do last week? This is not about judgment — it is about building the habit of honest self-assessment. If something did not get done, we figure out why and adjust.
Forward: We look ahead at upcoming assignments, tests, and deadlines. I go through syllabi with students at the start of every semester to capture all assignments in one shared document. Then each week we plan the upcoming work: break tasks into small, manageable chunks and assign real dates to each chunk.
Present: We start working on something right now. Not next week, not later tonight — in the session. This is especially important for students who struggle with task initiation. Starting with the easiest task first builds momentum.

Other techniques I use regularly: keeping a shared assignment document, maintaining an error log so students can see patterns in their mistakes, and occasionally using the Pomodoro method (timed work intervals with short breaks) for students who respond well to it. I also recommend the 2-minute skip rule: if you have been stuck on something for 2 minutes, mark it and move on. Come back to it later.

The Parent Component

I always involve parents, but the goal is to reduce parental involvement over time, not increase it. The ideal arc:

Month 1-2: Parent is heavily involved (reminding, checking, scaffolding). I coach the parent on how to prompt without nagging.
Month 3-4: Student starts to self-manage some systems. Parent shifts to spot-checking.
Month 5+: Student manages their own systems. Parent is a safety net, not a manager.

Research from the Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology supports this scaffolded approach: a meta-analysis of 35 EF interventions found that programs combining direct skill instruction with gradual transfer of responsibility to the student showed the largest effect sizes (Cohen’s d = 0.62) [5].

What Are the Signs My Child Might Have Executive Functioning Issues?

Here are the patterns I see most often. Your child does not need all of these — even two or three consistent patterns are worth paying attention to.

The “smart but struggling” label. Teachers say your child is bright but is not performing to their potential. They participate in class but bomb tests and forget homework.
Chronic disorganization. Lost papers, messy backpack, missed assignments, “I didn’t know that was due today” on repeat.
Last-minute everything. Projects done the night before, studying done the morning of the test, applications submitted at 11:59 PM.
Difficulty starting tasks. Especially unpleasant or overwhelming ones. Long periods of avoidance disguised as “getting ready to work.”
Inconsistent performance. Great one week, terrible the next. The inconsistency is the clue — it means the knowledge is there but the self-management is not.
Emotional overreaction to academic setbacks. Meltdowns, shutting down, declaring “I’m stupid” after a bad grade.
Trouble with transitions. Cannot switch from one activity to another without getting stuck. Comes home from school and cannot shift into homework mode.
Poor time awareness. Genuinely surprised when told how long something took or how little time is left before a deadline.

If you are reading this list and thinking “that is my child,” you are not alone. The Harvard Center on the Developing Child has noted that executive function difficulties affect a significant number of school-age children to a degree that impacts academic performance [6].

Is This ADHD?

Maybe. Executive functioning difficulties and ADHD overlap heavily, but they are not the same thing. Here is the relationship:

All children with ADHD have executive functioning difficulties. EF deficits are considered a core feature of ADHD.
Not all children with executive functioning difficulties have ADHD. EF skills can be weak due to anxiety, depression, sleep deprivation, trauma, learning disabilities, or simply being a late developer in these particular brain systems.

If you suspect ADHD, get a formal evaluation from a psychologist or psychiatrist. EF coaching is helpful either way — whether or not there is an ADHD diagnosis underneath — but if ADHD is present, medication combined with coaching produces better outcomes than either alone. A meta-analysis in The Lancet Psychiatry found that multimodal treatment (medication plus behavioral intervention) was significantly more effective than medication alone for improving executive function outcomes in children with ADHD [7].

I am not a psychologist, and I do not diagnose. What I do is work with the practical, day-to-day manifestations of EF difficulties regardless of whether there is a formal diagnosis. Many of my students have ADHD diagnoses. Many do not. The coaching looks similar either way.

When Should I Seek Help?

Sooner than you think. The most common thing I hear from parents is “I wish we had started this a year ago.” Here are specific triggers that should prompt action:

Grades are dropping despite your child being capable of the material
Homework is a nightly battle that is straining your relationship
Teachers are flagging the same issues across multiple classes (disorganization, missed deadlines, not paying attention)
Your child is starting to internalize failure — saying things like “I’m dumb” or “I don’t care” (the “I don’t care” is almost always a defense mechanism)
You have tried planners, apps, and reward systems and nothing has stuck for more than a few weeks
Your child is entering a transition year (moving to middle school, starting high school, heading to college) where the EF demands are about to spike

The transition points are critical. Every time the academic environment expects more self-management — middle school, high school, college — students with EF difficulties hit a wall. I have worked with students who did fine through 8th grade because their parents managed everything for them, and then fell apart in 9th grade when teachers expected them to track their own deadlines. Getting ahead of the next transition is always better than reacting after the crash.

Can Executive Functioning Skills Be Improved?

Yes, and the research is clear on this. A 2017 review in Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience analyzed 25 years of EF intervention studies and concluded that executive functions are “trainable across the lifespan,” with the strongest gains occurring when interventions target specific EF weaknesses, are practiced repeatedly in real-world contexts, and gradually increase in difficulty [8].

In my experience, most students show noticeable improvement within 6-8 weeks of consistent coaching. “Noticeable” means: homework time decreases, missing assignments decrease, planning becomes more automatic, and — this is the one parents notice first — the nightly arguments about schoolwork start to fade.

Full improvement takes longer. Building these skills to the point where they are habitual — where your child does them without external reminding — usually takes 4-6 months of weekly sessions. Some students need ongoing check-ins after that, especially during transitions.

The key is that improvement has to happen in context. Your child will not build better planning skills by doing abstract brain training games. They will build better planning skills by planning their actual homework with a coach who holds them accountable and adjusts the strategy when something is not working.

Frequently Asked Questions

At what age can executive functioning issues be identified?

EF skills begin developing in early childhood and continue maturing into the mid-twenties. Most parents notice problems in late elementary school (4th-5th grade) when academic demands start requiring more self-management. However, some children show signs as early as kindergarten, particularly in working memory and emotional control. A formal EF assessment is typically most reliable from age 7 onward. If your child is younger and you are concerned, talk to your pediatrician — early screening tools exist and early intervention is always better.

Does my child need a formal diagnosis to benefit from EF coaching?

No. EF coaching is a practical, skills-based approach that does not require a diagnosis. That said, if you suspect ADHD, anxiety, or a learning disability is contributing to the EF difficulties, a formal evaluation is valuable because it opens the door to additional supports (school accommodations via a 504 plan or IEP, medication evaluation, therapy). I work with students who have diagnoses and students who do not. The coaching itself — building planning habits, working on time management, improving organization — is beneficial either way.

How is EF coaching different from regular tutoring?

Regular tutoring focuses on academic content: teaching your child how to solve quadratic equations, how to write a thesis statement, how to analyze a historical document. EF coaching focuses on the systems around academics: how to plan study time, how to break a project into steps, how to start working when you do not feel like it, how to keep track of materials and deadlines. Sometimes there is overlap — I might help a student plan their approach to a specific assignment, and in doing so, we also work through the content. But the primary goal of EF coaching is to make the student a more effective self-manager, not to teach subject matter.

Will my child always struggle with executive functioning?

Not necessarily. The brain continues developing EF capacity into the mid-twenties, so some children naturally improve as they mature. More importantly, the strategies and habits built through coaching become internalized over time. I have former students who no longer need coaching but still use the planning systems and routines we developed together years ago. That said, if underlying ADHD is present, some degree of EF difficulty is likely to be lifelong — but the strategies become second nature with practice, and many adults with ADHD manage extremely well with the right systems in place.

How much does EF coaching cost?

Rates vary widely depending on the provider, location, and format. In the Philadelphia area, one-on-one EF coaching typically ranges from $75 to$ 200 per session (45-60 minutes). Some practitioners offer packages that reduce the per-session cost. Insurance does not typically cover EF coaching directly, though if an underlying diagnosis like ADHD is present, some therapeutic components may be covered through your mental health benefits. I recommend asking about pricing structures upfront and asking what a typical engagement looks like in terms of total sessions — a good coach should be able to give you a realistic estimate.

Andrés Cruciani is a Philadelphia-based tutor and executive functioning coach. He has worked with 500+ students since 2003 and previously taught in Brooklyn public schools for 5 years. He specializes in helping students build the organizational and self-management skills that school demands but rarely teaches. Get in touch.

Last Updated: March 2026

Sources:

Keep Practicing

If you found this helpful, check out these related SAT Math guides:

Want personalized help? Learn about my Executive Functioning Coaching or book a free consultation.